Digital pizzas? Corporations ridicule PlayStation over ending game disc production

Gaming giant PlayStation has been raked over the coals by consumers after its controversial announcement this week that it would end the production of physical game discs by January 2028, effectively meaning that games produced after that point would only be available on its digital marketplace.

The development came days after Rockstar Games announced that physical copies of the much-anticipated Grand Theft Auto VI would not come with a disc, with the case containing a slip of paper with a download code. Additionally, Sony had earlier announced that it would remove over 500 movies on the PlayStation Network without refunds.

Not only has the statement generated outrage among game preservationists, players and even politicians, but it has also inspired large companies to cash in on the controversy by putting out memes parodying the statement itself.

‘Digital only’

Domino’s Pizza published a tongue-in-cheek message announcing that from April 1, 2027, it would cease the production of physical pizzas and “shift to production of digital pizzas only”.

“Consumers will be able to download our full range of delicious pizza codes and, using the power of the imagination, enjoy them in an entirely virtual sense,” it says in a statement posted on X.

KFC posted a similar message on its Spanish X account, announcing to customers that they can purchase PNG format images of food “before they are sold out” and that within a year, “We’ll release the Fried Chicken Pass. You’ll get our entire catalogue for a modest monthly price.”

Energy drink maker G-Fuel also joined in, announcing that in response to “the gaming industry’s continued shift toward digital ownership”, it would discontinue its tubs, cans and individual stick packs of the energy drink from April 1 next year.

“Moving forward, all flavours will be available exclusively as downloadable flavour files,” the company added in a statement. “Fans will be able to access our full catalogue of delicious digital flavours, and imagine the same delicious taste, energy, and focus in a completely virtual format.

“No shaker required. No shipping delays. No powder on your desk. Just pure, cloud-based fuel,” the statement concludes.

Food companies were not the only ones issuing similar messaging, with Respawn, which produces gaming desks and chairs, chiming in and announcing it would cease production of physical chairs and shift to digital furniture only.

“New and existing customers will be able to download our entire catalogue of premium chair codes,” the company says. “Imaginary comfort, assembly not required.”

However, digital tech company Proton published a statement on X notifying consumers it would shift entirely to providing physical services.

“Proton Mail becomes encrypted letters hand-delivered by our team, Pass becomes someone who follows you around and remembers your passwords for you, VPN flies you to one of 90+ locations so you can browse like a local, Drive ships every user a folder (additional folders available on request), and Lumo Al sends a smart employee to your location to answer questions, help with work, and draw things,” the company posted.

In similar fashion, cybersecurity provider MalwareBytes announced that it would shift focus from keeping devices virus-free to protecting users from actual diseases.

“Now we will keep you virus-free. A member of the Malwarebytes team, dressed in a giant M suit, will accompany you to all doctor’s appointments to ensure you’re virus-free so you don’t pass cooties on to your device,” it says in a post on X.

“They will also microwave fish in the office of any company that leaks your personal data.”

Tech magazine PCMag joined in on the trend, announcing that in response to trends in the media industry, “We are no longer updating PCMag.com, our leading tech journalism and product reviews website.

“Effective immediately, our content will be accessible via two distinct methods: a direct connection to our Al neural network, or A mail-order subscription to 3.5-inch floppy disks (upgradeable to CD-ROM for an extra $4.99),” it says in a statement, thanking consumers for their understanding.

Header image: A person looks at PlayStation games in a shop in Manhattan, New York, the US on December 7, 2021. — Reuters ...