Breaking: Stuart Nash needs to be told off by his wife again

Stuart Nash is at it again – and only one woman has the power to stop him. 

What would we do without men and their podcasts? Earlier today, former National MP Chris Finlayson revealed on his podcast Cross Party Lines that after he praised National MP Katie Nimon, he received a bizarre late night text from her electorate rival, NZ First candidate Stuart Nash. The current MP for Napier, Nimon took time off from parliament in 2025 to have her first child and, according to Finlayson in a previous episode, “had a very good future” ahead of her. 

This comment appeared to incense Nash, who apparently texted Finlayson “in the middle of the night” with a strange series of hieroglyphics that The Spinoff understands to be English. “Comments like yours motivate and drive me harder,” Nash said. “Katie took nine months off on full pay, went back for a week, then took another month off… Laziest MP I have ever come across. Nice woman, but ill-suited to the rigours of being an electorate MP.”

It’s a comment which has already been skewered across the political spectrum. Prime minister Christopher Luxon said Nash’s remarks were “sexist” and “channelling the manosphere”. Chris Hipkins echoed that the comments were sexist and called Nash a “walking liability for NZ First”. Chris Bishop said the comments were “disgusting and he should know better. Stuart Nash needs to get into the 21st century” and later called him a “a sexist dickhead” on Facebook. 

Stuart Nash and Chris Hipkins in Hawke’s Bay during happier times. Image: Getty Images

Put aside rampant sexism, and the fact that 58-year-old Nash is feverishly texting away at midnight like a tween in the mid-2000s, and many questions still remain. Nimon herself, emerging from what The Spinoff can only assume was a slothful stupor, clarified that she took just six months away from Wellington, but was only actually off work for 10 weeks after idly growing and delivering an entire new human life from her own indolent, unrigorous body. 

So where on Earth did Nash get his 10-month figure from? Nimon said she believed it came from “his own head”.

The Spinoff understands this is not the first time Stuart Nash has said something utterly ludicrous from his own head. In September last year, he appeared on The Platform to speak Sean Plunket’s love language by answering the broadcaster’s favourite question: what is a woman? Nash paused for a moment, assessing his options. “The last time I said something like this I got in trouble,” he began. “A woman is a person with a pussy and a pair of tits.” 

An exclusive glimpse inside Stuart Nash’s mind.

Later in the programme, Plunket revealed that Nash had bashfully called back to request that they take down or edit his P’s and T’s after a terse conversation with his wife, Sarah. The founder of a PR company, a health and wellness coach, and the no-doubt work-shy mother of his four children, Sarah has given Nash shit for public gaffes before. “He’s indicated that he has spoken to his wife and he’s in a bit of trouble for the answer that he gave,” said Plunket.

Thanks to that growling from Sarah, Nash soon posted a lengthy apology on LinkedIn. “This morning on The Platform I made a crude and disrespectful remark when asked to define a woman,” he said. “It was wrong and unacceptable, and I apologise unreservedly for any offence that this comment may have caused. Words matter, and I take full responsibility for my actions… I have immense respect for all women and this is not who I am or what I believe.” 

Sorry to have to ask another woman to perform unpaid labour, especially in her specialist field, but Sarah, girl, wake up from your sluggish child-bearing slumber and get on the blower. As of writing, we’ve had three men named Chris already weigh in on Nash’s latest sexism spectacular despite his “immense respect for all women” and no apology to Nimon from the man of the hour. Instead, he’s simply asked people to judge him on his “track record, achievements and work ethic”.

Nice man I’m sure, but perhaps ill-suited to the rigours of being an MP? ...