Echo Chamber: Kneepads off, claws out

The week in parliament was marked by intra-coalition potshots, patsies and a former politician hoist with his own petard. 

Tuesday’s question time was preempted by a series of lows and a brief high. The lows: the passing of former finance minister Bill Birch and silver screen icon Sam Neill. The high: golfer Ryan Fox’s Open Championship win. Back to the low: despite the National Party vowing to campaign on “modernising” sexual consent law over the weekend, Labour MP Camilla Belich’s attempt to seek leave to introduce a member’s bill she’s already drafted on the same issue was rejected. It’s not surprising, really: in an election year, politics trumps all.

Plus: it was the first day back in the House after a two-week long recess period, and the government’s workload is pouring out of its ears. The slate of House priorities this week included advancing the Arms Bill, a reform to gun laws which includes barring gang members from a firearms licence, the Employment Leave Bill, which reforms leave entitlements, and the English Language Bill. Which should’ve been a sign to Belich: how could the government figure out what consent means if English is still illegal?

But first, question time. With latest Stats NZ data showing inflation has risen to 4.1% – the highest it’s been in two years – questions from the opposition to prime minister Christopher Luxon largely revolved around the cost of living crisis. While Greens co-leader Marama Davidson quizzed Luxon on rising power bills, Chris Hipkins hit the bread and butter Labour Party issue of the price of bread and butter, telling the House Luxon is “philosophically opposed to lower grocery prices.”

Later, National backbencher Miles Anderson had his kneepads on while passing patsies to minister Todd McClay about gains in international trade. Their double act was interrupted by Act Party leader David Seymour, who asked McClay whether NZ First minister Mark Patterson’s promoting of the India free-trade agreement (he had recently attended a global textile expo in the nation) had made him a “black sheep” in his party, which famously and not at all subtly opposes it.

McClay got to his feet, but speaker Gerry Brownlee shut down the question. Hipkins rose to offer his perspective: “Previous speakers’ rulings have been very clear that the government can’t use patsy questions to attack the opposition,” Hipkins began, “but there’s nothing to say the government can’t use patsy questions to attack its own ministers.”

David Seymour’s dig at NZ First earned plenty of laughs.

“I wasn’t attacking him,” replied Seymour, rather unconvincingly.

Closing out the sitting day was the second reading of the English Language Bill, which – in the words of Act MP Simon Court – allowed parliament to celebrate “the indigenous language of the Anglo-Saxon people”. “The indigenous language of the people who sailed to New Zealand and who pioneered New Zealand and developed New Zealand in partnership with the Māori people,” Court continued.

That sentiment didn’t quite resonate with all corners of Court’s coalition, with National MP Greg Fleming visibly uncomfortable as he commended the bill to the House in te reo Māori. And on the opposition side, Labour’s Belich wondered whether there were more “fundamental truths” the government should try writing into law. “What is the government going to legislate for next?” Belich mused. “That it should get dark at night, that the sun should rise in the morning, that the sky is blue, and that flowers should bloom?”

Act MP Simon Court championing the indigenous language of the mighty Anglo-Saxon people.

By Wednesday, a distasteful comment from a minister-turned-candidate saw NZ First hoist with its own petard. A gleeful Chris Finlayson – former National Party minister and current podcast bro – hopped and skipped down to parliament’s press gallery to present a text from Stuart Nash, who had rubbished Napier MP Katie Nimon for the slothful way in which she decided to push a baby out while also having to look after an electorate of about 65,000 people. The text had to be delivered to reporters in person, because even the most esteemed legal minds can struggle with taking a screenshot.

When the news made its way to the tiles, transport minister Chris Bishop offered reporters a look of pure astonishment unseen on his face since he received the vision of hell on election night 2020. It also resulted in a rare good quote from Luxon: “I think Stuart Nash channels the manosphere.” Nash, who was standing in Napier for NZ First, handed in his resignation letter by the end of the day and, presumably, retreated to the manosphere, or home to receive a bollocking from his wife.

Chris Bishop experienced every negative emotion known to man upon hearing the latest reckons from Stuart Nash. (Image: Three News)

Thursday’s question time saw some frustration on the opposition side, with a few rounds of ministerial musical chairs tripping MPs up. Green MP Kahurangi Carter had put a question to minister Louise Upston on her social development portfolio, but Upston batted away all supplementary questions from Carter on child poverty. Though she is the minister for child poverty reduction, because the primary question fell under Upton’s social development portfolio, the minister could only answer questions while wearing that hat.

And all Belich got out of questions to the justice minister around missing climate briefing documents was a shrug from stand-in minister James Meager. Asked whether it was appropriate for the prime minister’s office to request a briefing note in hard copy from Z Energy, Meager responded that he couldn’t speak for the actions of another office. And asked whether he accepted that a note delivered by hand could circumvent the Official Information Act, Meager argued that that judgement lies with the ombudsman. It was unfortunate, as speaking for another office is exactly what the opposition expected Meager to do.

Napier MP Katie Nimon is the week’s unexpected hero.

The bright side of the session was that at least one NZ First MP was ready to try to laugh off Wednesday’s embarrassing show from Nash. As Bishop tried to brush over questions from Labour’s transport spokesperson Tangi Utikere on the failures of the roads of national significance project, Katie Nimon piped up with a patsy on the already under-way Hawkes Bay Expressway.

“It was a great pleasure, may I say, to help turn the sod with the member who asked the question, and her young son, while she was on parental leave some many months ago,” Bishop replied. “Of course, that member is delivering where the former MP failed.” There were scowls from his colleagues, but NZ First MP David Wilson got a good chuckle out of it.

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